How to Be a Better Listener in Sales – 3 Vital Skills You Must Master to Control Conversations
December 11, 2017
When I started working is sales, I stunk. This came as a surprise because my knowledge of the product I was selling was superb.
I figured I’d be excellent as a consultative salesperson. I would wow my leads with so much useful information about our product, they’d surely be convinced they couldn’t live without it.
In fact, I was so anxious to convey all my expertise that I’d often interrupt leads when they spoke. Why waste time on their story? Isn’t this about our solution?
So they’d end up listening to me pontificate, exhort, and bellow my way through the presentation. And as soon as I finished, they’d hedge. That sounds great but I’m not sure…how about we talk again next month…I think I’d like to talk to my wife about this.
My numbers stagnated and my career floundered. Then I got some advice that saved me.
Stop interrupting people and listen. Let the lead tell you what’s important to them and respond to their concerns.
From this, I learned the most important lesson in sales. Great salespeople are skilled listeners.
Control the Conversation
Most people think the person who does all the talking is in control of the conversation. But great negotiators, interviewers, and salespeople know that the opposite is true.
The person in control is the one asking questions and listening. Think of someone like Oprah, Mike Wallace, or even Howard Stern. They’re all great at asking questions that get the other person to open up.
When you listen, you uncover what the lead really cares about. They’ll reveal their emotional triggers, which are the key to getting them act.
It’s not the information you provide, but how you tailor it in response to the needs of the lead that closes deals.
You Can Become a Better Listener
Being a better listener will help you in sales and life. Other people appreciate good listeners.
Good listeners also formulate better responses, so when they do talk it’s relevant, thoughtful and – best of all – witty.
If you struggle with listening, start paying attention to these three things.
#1. Stop Interrupting
If you tend to interrupt others, you strike-out as a listener. Listening and interrupting are diametrically opposed.
I had this problem, but once I became aware of it, it wasn’t that hard to overcome.
In conversations, you’ll notice the urge to interrupt someone before you actually do. When you get that feeling (you’ll often start to open your mouth or move your hands), stop. Realize you’re about to interrupt, then stay quiet and continue listening. Let the other person finish their thought.
If you work on a sales or negotiation team, have someone listen in and alert you when you interrupt. Habitual interrupters may need time and outside cues to recognize and influence this behavior. In my case, valuable sales training at Madwire® helped me break the habit.
As you become conscious of how your interrupt, it will change the way you converse. I found it to be an immediate and drastic improvement.
I realized, looking back, how frustrating it was for others when I interrupted them. The underlying rudeness of it.
When I stopped, I sensed people’s appreciation. Being understood puts people in a state of ease.
This can be a life-changer. Work on it.
#2. Pay Attention
Sometimes people go on tangents. It can be hard keep your attention focused on them.
But in professional situations, you must.
Make sure two things are happening. First, that you comprehend their train of thought. Make sure you understand their point, otherwise you might (appropriately) interrupt with a question.
Second, make notes about important points you want to respond to or relevant directions you want to take the conversation. In meetings or phone calls, jot these ideas down.
Avoid distractions. Put your phone down, stop watching TV. Make eye contact. Don’t cross your arms.
Be aware of boredom or disinterest that causes your mind to wander. As you catch yourself, focus your mind back on the conversation.
#3. Care
Disinterest will be less of a problem if you genuinely care about what the other person is saying.
If that person is a lead or a friend, you should care. You’re invested in the conversation. What do you want to get out of it?
Also, be curious. Open yourself to new ideas and opinions. Take an interest in another’s view of the world.
Be empathetic. Understand the other person’s feelings, be non-judgemental. Validate what they’ve said in your responses.
Again, pay attention to when your mind wanders. Note when something blocks you from listening, then shift back to what the other person is saying.
Ease Into Control
Being a good listener makes your life easier. You’ll find you’re less argumentative. When you really listen to others, you get them. Their humanity comes through, and you’re less inclined to judge them. If you’re the type of person who often gets into arguments or seems to “rub people the wrong way”, work on your listening skills.
As you master these skills, you gain an element of control. What do you want to know about the person you’re speaking with? What topics do you want them to discuss, what feelings do you want them to reveal? Ask questions, be patient. In negotiations, the person who speaks first loses.
Being a great listener is vital in sales. As you listen to your lead, they’ll tell you what their pain points are. Note these; they’re buying triggers. If you listen, the lead will tell you why they want to buy. Then present your offer as their solution. This is 100% more effective than overwhelming them with facts.
Let people tell you their story, and consider how it relates to your own. When you speak, do it with emotional intelligence. Recognize and monitor your emotions; recognize and influence the emotions of others.
The ability to control conversations is power. In fact, you’ll notice when you encounter another good listener in negotiations and feel the competition as each of you tries to guide the conversation.
But for the most part, people love to talk about themselves and will do so readily when they meet a good listener. If this person is your next sales lead, you now have a clear advantage.